Things is crazy in my world right now, y’all. Upside down, inside out and round and round.
I’m fitfully sleeping about 5 or 6 hours per night, when normally I’m a hard snorin’, solid 7 or 8 hour boy. I’m totally a coffee dude, but lately I’ve taken to having a civilized cup of decaffeinated Lady Grey Tea in the evenings. Yes, I said Lady Grey. I feel a little like I’m in a fog all the time. I’ve lost a little weight, too. It’s all due to mourning my Father’s death. Turns out, grief is a great diet (better than TrimSpa, baby!), but I don’t recommend it.
Don’t worry, Mom. I’m eating, I’m just not craving burgers, french fries, pizza, brownies, buttercream and the like. Basically, I’m not eating anything delicious. Nothing sounds good, so I’m basically eating chicken and veggies. Salad. Yogurt. Fruit. Tragic, right?
The grief’s also kicked up emotions around other losses in my life– my pitiful career; the comedy of errors that’s been my love life; the black molly fishies who started eating each other in my fish tank when I was 10. They were eating each other! It was horrifying. All of it has made me feel helpless, hopeless and useless. It’s awful.
And it’s colored how I’ve been feeling about Merce. It seems like we’re never going to get the show out. It’s never going to be done. And what’s the use, anyway? Who the fuck cares?
But we’ve made a commitment, and must see it through. There are other people involved, donors, cast, crew, a few fans all wanting to see the show. So I take a deep breath, and shoulder on.
It’s been making me crazy how long the editing has been taking. After consulting with our consultant, the ever-patient Tyne Firmin and I decided to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with editor Johnny Coughlin about the state of the editing and the fact that we didn’t have an ending to the project in sight. Tyne and I strategized about the best possible way to have the conversation, coming up with plans A, B, and C, trying to figure out the best ways to approach Johnny, valuing as we do his talent and time, but being firm on the need to have a deadline. Producer problem solving.
We had a meeting of the three of us, and when Tyne and I approached the topic and told Johnny that we were unhappy with the timing of things and needed to implement an editing schedule, he without hesitation agreed. AGREED! And when I pulled out the schedule I’d already made up (sometimes I’m sneaky), he said it looked totally reasonable for him and the other two editors he’s brought on to the project to adhere to. The meeting was shockingly un-dramatic. Sometimes when you have a come-to-Jesus meeting, Jesus shows up first.
We have about 98% of Episode 1 completed, and have 2 other episodes at about 85% completion. And guess what? They’re totally fresh, exciting and AMAZING. Kenny Kruper, who we were already in love with from the songs he’s composed, added scoring to Ep. 1 that is perfect! Amanda Bruton is hilarious and heroic as Mistress Veda/Veda Masters. Ed Davis as Ms. Nutella Spread is so freakin’ glamorous and smashing, you won’t believe it. And the rest of the cast! Corvette, the Joes, my darling Fairies! Oh! It’s all being brought to life by Johnny and his team of Max Nitch and Billy Coughlin (Johnny’s bro), under Tyne’s guidance, putting everything together with such care, humor, and panache, getting every silly joke just right. It’s really wonderful, and makes me cry to think of how fabulous the whole show is going to be.
Our schedule right now has us finishing editing by mid-June. Hopefully before that, we’ll be able to figure out a marketing plan and decide on a release date.
As for my grief, well, the turvy’s not so easily re-topsy’d. I’ve never grieved anyone like this before, and it’s hard. My Dad was an amazing man with a great sense of humor, and a huge heart. I’m in therapy, attending a grieving group, even using crystals. (Natures jewelry, darling, and they have powers!)
Merce has been helping. Every naughty, bawdy episode has a message of hope, joy, love, and believing in yourself. Turns out, Merce is a very positive influence on me.
And I’m starting to feel a tad bit better. Who knows? I may even have a burger this weekend.
P.S. I was on the Laff Tracks Radio Show on Feb. 28, hosted by the fabulous Joanna Briley and the hilarious Steve C. King. If you missed it, you can watch the recorded stream here (with a few commercials): where can you buy Premarin, or listen to the podcast at where to buy Premarin tablets. I’m on for about a half hour starting at around 34-ish minutes in. I talk about Merce, HIV, life, love, sex even! Oh, and burritos. Check it out!